all other feelings and positive impressions are now he straight up hates lark. WELL OF COURSE YOU SOULLESS TOOL DON'T SEE ANYTHING WRONG WITH ME BEING MARCH'S BITCH NOW BUT ME I'M LESS THAN PLEASED. betrayal feelings and bitterness and lark was the one he liked best out of new teammates but nolove is over.
he would like to find out how to make lark suffer. and then make sure he suffers for a very long time.
KIND OF SUCKS YOU HATE THE SHIT OUT OF ME I STILL KINDA LIKE YOU. he is also... very aware that forced enslavement is extremely different from willing loyalty and is kinda like ARE YOU SURE YOU WANT TO COMPARE THEM... it's kind of like the cake thing
thought you were joking but gave you the chance to confirm joking and... well...
isn't really sure how to behave around Shark but does still want to talk to him because people liking him matters five billion times less than him liking people when it comes to who Lark wants to spend time around? HENCE A LOT OF HOLE DIGGING MOSTLY \o/ #winning #celeste #etc.
DOES FEEL BAD ABOUT HELPING GET YOU KILLED but he's not going to apologize either because he wouldn't... take it back... so he's not actually sorry \o/
don't worry he'll stop feeling bad soon.
anyway though Shark is totally justified in hating him and Lark knows it so he's not going to. defend himself ever, and. it isn't affecting his opinions on Shark at all...
OKAY. SHE IS A LITTLE UPSET PEOPLE KEEP MESSING UP THE GALLERY AND ALSO GETTING MAD AT HER.
and a little /)_(\ now that lilac has informed her she screwed up a bit in the dark and that some fragments leaked through but fire, she knows the boundaries were broken down there and boundaries aren't really her thing, they're sophie's. she tried!! ACCEPTS THIS AS OH WELL, I GUESS. . . DIDN'T MEAN TO DO THAT BUT IT DID HAPPEN.
hopes people follow the rules signs she posted. :T
I kind of hope we do not turn into an all-guy team but that is a lower priority
I... THINK THE MAIN THING WE NEED IS "SOMEONE WE WON'T TOTALLY RUIN" and then maybe "someone who will maybe also help us stop ruining each other" but the second one is much harder to, like
like what does that entail
I'm not totally sure
SOMEONE NOT A PSYCHOPATH ANYWAY who will be franz with Jackal so Jackal can be a little less. yes. I STILL WANT A LEADER BUT. IT IS PROBABLY HARD TO GET ALL OF THOSE THINGS +LEADER so it is a lower priority I guess. altho a leader would be super helping.
I would say "someone who would be v. invested in Celeste as a team/would like them better than everyone else" but that a. is a little hard to finagle before they're even in play and b. would probably make it harder on them to cope...
Jackal is my primary priority but we don't have anyone placable in the queue that has agreed to celeste that I think would be perfectly ideal for him, so I'll need to probably settle for someone that at least won't be bad. NO PSYCHOS. Definitely not another psycho because team balance is actually an issue no stop it bad. I also would like someone that would be primarily interested in celeste but we'll see what I can manage.
I CHANGED MY MIND MISLED AFFECTION IS BETTER THAN NO AFFECTION CAN I GO BACK AND TAKE THAT BACK
they have not spoken since more or less breaking up since Lark spent the rest of that day getting food and the entire next day with Absinthe so it's nottt ENTIRELY certain where they stand because Lark doesn't know... how to treat people differently according to their regard for him. LEAVING WAS LESS "I AM CONSIDERING YOUR FEELINGS AND LEAVING YOU ALONE NOW" AND MORE "NOPE NOPE NOPE I DON'T WANT TO DEAL TIME TO RUN AWAY"
so like
he is kinda avoiding him honestly
because he's going to want affection and Bunny will probably not. be... affectionate anymore :'DDD
though he like overdosed on cuddling with Absinthe so maybe he will need less touch and be slightly less unwilling to deal with his problems by tomorrow?
IDK
WE WILL SEE
DO YOU HAVE DETAILED THOUGHTS ON SAGE PAST "JELLY"
Aside from that he has very few feelings on Sage, but he does have a basic analysis. He thinks Sage are hypocrites. They might shout about OTHERS PLAYING ARE COWARDS well you clearly weren't fucking dead by that round if you dropped yourselves to the floor maybe you'd get shouting rights. YOU'VE GOT THE SAME HUMAN DESIRES FOR SURVIVAL AND DESPISING PEOPLE OVER THAT IS STUPID AS SHIT. He doesn't understand nobility and thinks it is stupid as fuck. He knows and understands kindness but the kind of kindness that is I'll do this for people I like because I don't want to hurt them, but sticking to principles when you're clearly playing the same as everyone else is just lol hypocrites. He doesn't really hate them or anything for it, but that is his take. Oh, dumbass hypocrites but whatever those "values" mean they'll take in Tavros or take in fucking anyone that asked them unless we happen to deserve it maybe.
Has some more resentment towards Kuroko due to perceived blocking him from Tavros. YES I'M GIVING HIM UP BUT THAT IS BETWEEN ME AND HIM GET YOUR FUCKING OBSTRUCTIVE ASS THE HELL AWAY FROM HERE. >( DON'T INSINUATE HE DOESN'T WANT ME AROUND WHAT IF YOU GET HIM THINKING IF EVERYONE IS UNSURE THERE'S GOOD REASONS FOR ME NOT TO BE AROUND.
person I like being around piled on top of person I am COMFORTABLE around (and/or person not person enough to judge me for shit) piled on top of PERSON WHO LIKES... MEEEE... AND WANTS ME AROUNDDDDDDD...
while it isn't so significant if a person doesn't like Lark, it is hugely significant if they DO, and in Absinthe's case especially, because Absinthe is someone very straightforward and honest in his desires, and because Lark knows Absinthe's most important person is HERE and he could be spending time with HIM, it is a huge self-esteem boost to have him be spending entire days worth of time. with Lark. Lark really needs... praise, appreciation, proof of his own value in some form, and as much as he likes March and likes that March doesn't HATE HIM March does not really provide... clear, tangible evidence of not hating him which doesn't really count. So Absinthe being like I AM COMFORTABLE HERE WITH YOU, I LOOK FORWARD TO SEEING YOU, I LIKE THIS I LIKE THAT etc. is something he really, really needs right now. (HE WOULD PREFER "USEFUL" TO "WANTED" BECAUSE HEALTHY PRIORITIES but they're working on that too anyway so. So.)
so between that and the being pretty sure Absinthe will never turn around and reject him (choosing Sunshine or team over him does not count as rejecting him) and the touching Absinthe makes up like a good 75% of coping at the very least rn. (the rest is pretty much getting a weapon + March and portraits telling him what to do.)
I'm sure hinging my entire well-being on a single other person will go well ok
how do you think Shark will do in games from now on? or well not so much "from now on" as "at the immediate given time before anything changes again" but you know.
He and March have always played very similarly in games to start with, but now that him being his master is public knowledge within the team he doesn't have to make token attempts to appeal to what Jackal or others want it's whatever March wants. CHANCES ARE his thoughts will be along similar lines.
but even when he disagrees there's no point in arguing since whatever he thinks is irrelevant, March can countermand his will at any point. /GIVES UP.
in games where it's just him and March isn't there he might be swapping strategies partially just to go I STILL HAVE MY OWN WILL FUCK YOU LOOK WHAT I CAN DO when you aren't here to stop me. BUT IT ALL DEPENDS, BASICALLY... especially once he stops blue screening.
currently March is the most significant figure in Lark's present \:'D/ this might actually hold even if you remove the empathy/attachment/FEELINGS from the equation because March is the only person on Celeste who will a. boss him around and b. absolutely only value him if he is really of value. (Shark is enough attached to Jackal for reasons Lark doesn't understand to make him notably more questionable on that front sorry \o\) that can't come from outside the team for probably obvious reasons so it's BASICALLY JUST COMING FROM MARCH so Lark is starting to... structure himself more according to March's standards, in a way. not in behavioral ways, really, just... in what he would be more willing or inclined to do. got a weapon he can use without being a fuck-up, paying a lot more attention to food, getting a little cagier about infoshare (WHICH DOES NOT SEEM LIKE IT'S HELPING MUCH YET BUT MAN THIS IS THE GUY WHO IS LIKE "YEAH LET ME TELL YOU MY LIFE STORY FIRST MEETING!!!!!!!" IN HIS CANON OKAY). more than anything else Lark just wants to be useful! even more than he wants to be wanted tbh.
and then there is the empathy feelings blort which is just. he loves. having someone he understands... and who he can expect to understand him in turn, the latter part of which may eventually blow up in his face but he does not yet realize that. the fact that he and March are outwardly EXTRAORDINARILY DIFFERENT has no bearing on his current impression that they are, at least in the important ways, honestly the same.
but actually his BIAS is more or less non-existent :'D and the empathy is part of what's keeping that down! because he's aware that he's starting to act under March but at the same time is maintaining a perception of him that is on the same level, because they're not different! March is neither beneath nor above him and Lark is obeying him because Lark benefits from that obedience, not because March benefits from it. and while he would LIKE them to be on the same side about everything... it probably won't show, particularly not any time soon, since Lark doesn't have any strong stance of his own on a lot of things and thus is fine with just going with March usually, if it's something that he DOES have his own opinion on he wants their side to be LARK'S side. so March is in fact presently the only person in deco Lark could actually get in an argument with. LIKE A REAL ARGUMENT. IT'S POSSIBLE!
does Shark have any thoughts on what the hell happened to Dormouse or has he just, like, not even noticed
(yeah shark does not give a shit about "use" sorry lark)
UH, RIGHT NOW HE IS PRETTY SELF-ABSORBED. having bigger issues. . . ASSUMES ANOTHER PORTRAIT TOOK HER BUT SINCE SHE'S NOT IN THE BIG ONE SHE'LL COME BACK.
when she's visible in there it is once again going to be like oh fuck because how will march react!! (By getting drunk and sulking but he doesn't know that)
Hasn't thought about the ramifications of that re: Jackal losing the other stable member of Celeste and may not for a while.
Mary strikes him as a very sensible portrait whose main motivations at least appear to be more along the lines of keeping things maintained and okay than watching everyone suffer, and who seems to have a more... involved nature? in either them or the gallery itself than the other portraits
so generally a pretty good impression! being the most present and active portrait he's seen sort of gives her the air of a representative, at least, and he has some faint degree of autodere for individuals of rank/power (which applies to all the portraits a little bit honestly but in particular to Mary). she also has major gratitude points with him, both for saving their asses from Cinderella and for clearing up the rust and everything. BASICALLY SHE IS WITHIN SPITTING DISTANCE OF THAT JUMP UP TO DEREDEREDEREDEREDERE if he finds out people are mad at her/think she is terrible/w/e that will probably become a thing. rn I think she just isn't quite there because of similar communication/interaction failings in actual conversation, like what is certainty... speech tic... ellipses......
h-haha MARY HAS ONLY STARTED TO REALISE HE EXISTS. People don't stick out in her memory very much, as a general rule. Still, people she knows exist in Deco as specific individuals is a very short list, so it's not actually surprising. BASICALLY LEO AND CLEO are IT. She has vaguely noticed him now though, as of Cinderella, so HE'S STILL ABOVE SOME OTHERS, in that she'll remember his face their next meeting so the OPPORTUNITY for him to make an actual impression is there now.
A...ALVISS MEMORIES [cry] I could only stave off my bias for so long I guess!! stupid enemy boys who like each other too much!!!!!!! it really would be helpful to me but I admit what I am most looking forward to is just getting to remember Alviss not the reasonable motivations. R...REVERSE??
IT WAS HIS HUMAN MEMORIES because of fallout of those and remembering properly the feelings he should have and now lacks, and after getting those I wanted to give him his WAKING UP WITH AMNESIA: THE SECOND memory of first being Packrat and seeing if he freaked the fuck out because sudden forced awareness of oh god this is wrong/fucked up shove in his face, rather than a grating old wound THIS IS THE SUDDEN CHANGE FROM WHAT YOU WERE TO WHAT YOU ARE.
But due to current events those need to be put on the backburner because y-yesss that would not be. Helpful. Right now.
uh well I have Peta's death locked because it would be simultaneously unhelpful and disturbing... ditto for a certain point in a conversation with Alviss, as well as losing to Alviss + the memory which includes most of the aftermath. (THERE IS A PART OF THE AFTERMATH WHICH IS NOT LOCKED BUT THAT'S BECAUSE HE'S TOO OUT OF IT TO BE CONSCIOUSLY CONSIDERING LOSE-Y SHIT AND GETTING KICKED OFF A STAGE IS FUNNY TO ME.) I have backstory dumping locked because I didn't want to get it back before getting back actual backstory and have just forgotten to unlock it yet. AND I HAVE... PHANTOM LOSING TO GINTA LOCKED BECAUSE I probably want more positive Phantom memories back before I drop "publicly indirectly admit to not giving a shit about you" on him
tamaki hit him at a low point where he ABSOLUTELY WAS NOT EXPECTING ANY SYMPATHY, MUCH LESS AN OFFER TO HELP.
even though his contract with march has since been revised, he'll kind of. I guess some confused grateful feelings at him. NOT JUST HAHA I AM GOOD PERSON JUSTICE YOU ALL ARE COWARDS!! but oh no someone cares and makes offers even though i have given him no reason to what do? The answer to what do is NOT TAKE THE OFFER SINCE HE NO LONGER NEEDS IT but he appreciates that it was made. BUT, since contract was revised he won't be taking that offer but still TAMAKI JUST ROSE IN ESTEEM ABOVE LIKE A GOOD MAJORITY OF DECO.
Imagine Rolan as sorted on a different team and tell me about him.
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all other feelings and positive impressions are now he straight up hates lark. WELL OF COURSE YOU SOULLESS TOOL DON'T SEE ANYTHING WRONG WITH ME BEING MARCH'S BITCH NOW BUT ME I'M LESS THAN PLEASED. betrayal feelings and bitterness and lark was the one he liked best out of new teammates but no love is over.
he would like to find out how to make lark suffer. and then make sure he suffers for a very long time.
REVERSE?
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thought you were joking but gave you the chance to confirm joking and... well...
isn't really sure how to behave around Shark but does still want to talk to him because people liking him matters five billion times less than him liking people when it comes to who Lark wants to spend time around? HENCE A LOT OF HOLE DIGGING MOSTLY \o/ #winning #celeste #etc.
DOES FEEL BAD ABOUT HELPING GET YOU KILLED but he's not going to apologize either because he wouldn't... take it back... so he's not actually sorry \o/
don't worry he'll stop feeling bad soon.
anyway though Shark is totally justified in hating him and Lark knows it so he's not going to. defend himself ever, and. it isn't affecting his opinions on Shark at all...
how is Mary doing?
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and a little /)_(\ now that lilac has informed her she screwed up a bit in the dark and that some fragments leaked through but fire, she knows the boundaries were broken down there and boundaries aren't really her thing, they're sophie's. she tried!! ACCEPTS THIS AS OH WELL, I GUESS. . . DIDN'T MEAN TO DO THAT BUT IT DID HAPPEN.
hopes people follow the rules signs she posted. :T
THOUGHTS ON LAST CELESTE WHEN WE GET A NEW ONE
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I... THINK THE MAIN THING WE NEED IS "SOMEONE WE WON'T TOTALLY RUIN" and then maybe "someone who will maybe also help us stop ruining each other" but the second one is much harder to, like
like what does that entail
I'm not totally sure
SOMEONE NOT A PSYCHOPATH ANYWAY who will be franz with Jackal so Jackal can be a little less. yes. I STILL WANT A LEADER BUT. IT IS PROBABLY HARD TO GET ALL OF THOSE THINGS +LEADER so it is a lower priority I guess. altho a leader would be super helping.
I would say "someone who would be v. invested in Celeste as a team/would like them better than everyone else" but that a. is a little hard to finagle before they're even in play and b. would probably make it harder on them to cope...
REVERSE?
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LARK HOW YOU FEELING ABOUT YOUR MASTER RIGHT NOW
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OR DO YOU MEAN SERVANT
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THE LATTER.
lemme alone english is hard!!
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I CHANGED MY MIND MISLED AFFECTION IS BETTER THAN NO AFFECTION CAN I GO BACK AND TAKE THAT BACK
they have not spoken since more or less breaking up since Lark spent the rest of that day getting food and the entire next day with Absinthe so it's nottt ENTIRELY certain where they stand because Lark doesn't know... how to treat people differently according to their regard for him. LEAVING WAS LESS "I AM CONSIDERING YOUR FEELINGS AND LEAVING YOU ALONE NOW" AND MORE "NOPE NOPE NOPE I DON'T WANT TO DEAL TIME TO RUN AWAY"
so like
he is kinda avoiding him honestly
because he's going to want affection and Bunny will probably not. be... affectionate anymore :'DDD
though he like overdosed on cuddling with Absinthe so maybe he will need less touch and be slightly less unwilling to deal with his problems by tomorrow?
IDK
WE WILL SEE
DO YOU HAVE DETAILED THOUGHTS ON SAGE PAST "JELLY"
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Has some more resentment towards Kuroko due to perceived blocking him from Tavros. YES I'M GIVING HIM UP BUT THAT IS BETWEEN ME AND HIM GET YOUR FUCKING OBSTRUCTIVE ASS THE HELL AWAY FROM HERE. >( DON'T INSINUATE HE DOESN'T WANT ME AROUND WHAT IF YOU GET HIM THINKING IF EVERYONE IS UNSURE THERE'S GOOD REASONS FOR ME NOT TO BE AROUND.
Lark on Absinthe!
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while it isn't so significant if a person doesn't like Lark, it is hugely significant if they DO, and in Absinthe's case especially, because Absinthe is someone very straightforward and honest in his desires, and because Lark knows Absinthe's most important person is HERE and he could be spending time with HIM, it is a huge self-esteem boost to have him be spending entire days worth of time. with Lark. Lark really needs... praise, appreciation, proof of his own value in some form, and as much as he likes March and likes that March doesn't HATE HIM March does not really provide... clear, tangible evidence of not hating him which doesn't really count. So Absinthe being like I AM COMFORTABLE HERE WITH YOU, I LOOK FORWARD TO SEEING YOU, I LIKE THIS I LIKE THAT etc. is something he really, really needs right now. (HE WOULD PREFER "USEFUL" TO "WANTED" BECAUSE HEALTHY PRIORITIES but they're working on that too anyway so. So.)
so between that and the being pretty sure Absinthe will never turn around and reject him (choosing Sunshine or team over him does not count as rejecting him) and the touching Absinthe makes up like a good 75% of coping at the very least rn. (the rest is pretty much getting a weapon + March and portraits telling him what to do.)
I'm sure hinging my entire well-being on a single other person will go well ok
how do you think Shark will do in games from now on? or well not so much "from now on" as "at the immediate given time before anything changes again" but you know.
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but even when he disagrees there's no point in arguing since whatever he thinks is irrelevant, March can countermand his will at any point. /GIVES UP.
in games where it's just him and March isn't there he might be swapping strategies partially just to go I STILL HAVE MY OWN WILL FUCK YOU LOOK WHAT I CAN DO when you aren't here to stop me. BUT IT ALL DEPENDS, BASICALLY... especially once he stops blue screening.
LARK'S THOUGHTS ON MARCH?
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and then there is the empathy feelings blort which is just. he loves. having someone he understands... and who he can expect to understand him in turn, the latter part of which may eventually blow up in his face but he does not yet realize that. the fact that he and March are outwardly EXTRAORDINARILY DIFFERENT has no bearing on his current impression that they are, at least in the important ways, honestly the same.
but actually his BIAS is more or less non-existent :'D and the empathy is part of what's keeping that down! because he's aware that he's starting to act under March but at the same time is maintaining a perception of him that is on the same level, because they're not different! March is neither beneath nor above him and Lark is obeying him because Lark benefits from that obedience, not because March benefits from it. and while he would LIKE them to be on the same side about everything... it probably won't show, particularly not any time soon, since Lark doesn't have any strong stance of his own on a lot of things and thus is fine with just going with March usually, if it's something that he DOES have his own opinion on he wants their side to be LARK'S side. so March is in fact presently the only person in deco Lark could actually get in an argument with. LIKE A REAL ARGUMENT. IT'S POSSIBLE!
does Shark have any thoughts on what the hell happened to Dormouse or has he just, like, not even noticed
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UH, RIGHT NOW HE IS PRETTY SELF-ABSORBED. having bigger issues. . . ASSUMES ANOTHER PORTRAIT TOOK HER BUT SINCE SHE'S NOT IN THE BIG ONE SHE'LL COME BACK.
when she's visible in there it is once again going to be like oh fuck because how will march react!! (By getting drunk and sulking but he doesn't know that)
Hasn't thought about the ramifications of that re: Jackal losing the other stable member of Celeste and may not for a while.
LARK WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS ON MARY
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so generally a pretty good impression! being the most present and active portrait he's seen sort of gives her the air of a representative, at least, and he has some faint degree of autodere for individuals of rank/power (which applies to all the portraits a little bit honestly but in particular to Mary). she also has major gratitude points with him, both for saving their asses from Cinderella and for clearing up the rust and everything. BASICALLY SHE IS WITHIN SPITTING DISTANCE OF THAT JUMP UP TO DEREDEREDEREDEREDERE if he finds out people are mad at her/think she is terrible/w/e that will probably become a thing. rn I think she just isn't quite there because of similar communication/interaction failings in actual conversation, like what is certainty... speech tic... ellipses......
REVERSE?
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MEMORIES THAT YOU ARE LOOKING FORWARD TO GETTING?
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But due to current events those need to be put on the backburner because y-yesss that would not be. Helpful. Right now.
MEMORIES YOU HAVE LOCKED OFF AND WHY?
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also because Phantom loses and that sucks.
I would say "reverse" but
so how is that thing with Tamaki going
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tamaki hit him at a low point where he ABSOLUTELY WAS NOT EXPECTING ANY SYMPATHY, MUCH LESS AN OFFER TO HELP.
even though his contract with march has since been revised, he'll kind of. I guess some confused grateful feelings at him. NOT JUST HAHA I AM GOOD PERSON JUSTICE YOU ALL ARE COWARDS!! but oh no someone cares and makes offers even though i have given him no reason to what do? The answer to what do is NOT TAKE THE OFFER SINCE HE NO LONGER NEEDS IT but he appreciates that it was made. BUT, since contract was revised he won't be taking that offer but still TAMAKI JUST ROSE IN ESTEEM ABOVE LIKE A GOOD MAJORITY OF DECO.
Imagine Rolan as sorted on a different team and tell me about him.